Getting Called Out: How to Apologize
This was like the best ted talk i’ve ever seem
(tw: Sexual assault/rape, abuse) Teenagers can act unhurt over sexual harassment and abuse for all sorts of reasons, including trying to reclaiming agency from an abusive situation. That does not mean what is happening is not abuse, or rape, or assault. And no matter how grown teens act, it’s the responsibility of teachers and adults to remind us that we’re not adults, not to lasciviously bolster a myth that says otherwise or worsen it with blame.
What am I driving at? At this idea: that no one colonizes innocently, that no one colonizes with impunity either; that a nation which colonizes, that a civilization which justifies colonization - and therefore force - is already a sick civilization, a civilization that is morally diseased.
"Sexual harassment conversations, in comic form." created by Jim C. Hines
So much this about the
doubletriple bind victims face when deciding if and how to report sexual harassment and assault. Specifically about conventions, but it can be applied to so many other situations too.
While individual women or women as a whole may enact prejudicial biases toward specific men or toward men as a group, this is done so without the backing of a societal system of institutional power. If all U.S. presidents were women, if our economic and political infrastructures were run predominantly by women, and if men’s shelters were required to protect men from widespread abuse by their female partners, perhaps “reverse sexism” would have the required institutional power to make it a meaningful phrase.
More girls have been killed in the last FIFTY years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in ALL the battles of the 20th century.
More girls are killed in this routine gendercide in any ONE decade, than people were slaughtered in ALL the genocides of the 20th century.
Anarchism and queer theory have, in fact, much to offer each other: queer theory in its critical perspectives on normativity and identity formation, and anarchism in its dynamic critique of coercive systems of political and economic power. A combined queer anarchist perspective offers an alternative ethical, political position from the increasingly mainstream, capitalist state-centered face of lesbian and gay politics.
- is heteronormative
- excludes males
- disrespects rape survivors
- objectifies females
- reduces women to how men perceive them sexually
- erases female sexuality
- reinforces oppressive ideals of femininity and masculinity
- in itself, doesn’t even make sense
- reduce sex to male penetration
- weaponize penetration as a depreciation against women
Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).
The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.
Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor.
Advertising is based on one thing: happiness. And do you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It’s freedom from fear. It’s the billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you’re doing is okay. You are okay. -- Donald Draper, Mad Men
I’ve put together this collection of recent sexist advertisements from different companies. To be honest, it was difficult to pick the ones I wanted because there were so many of them. It was truly abhorrent.
Donald Draper explains to us what advertising is. Its a stroking of the ego. Sexism and patriarchy are rampant within society (advertising also touches on things like race, body size, and social class but for the purposes of this post I am focusing on those two), and thus advertising capitalizes on that, makes money on it, and perpetuates it. We’re surrounded by this kind of advertising. We can’t escape it, we’re trapped.
So when shopping or flipping through a magazine, or even driving down the high way and reading billboards, let’s all remember to put our critical thinking hats on and to identify and call out the sexism. Advertising is a significant contributor to the continued social injustices. But remember: those problems come to an end with us. If we stop responding to these advertisements the way the companies want us to, then some real reform can begin.
You can’t define who I am,
Or who I’ll become.
You can try to define me but,
You can’t because I define myself.
By my actions,
The words I chose.
And how I use them.
I’m being who I am,
A girl with dreams, hopes, wishes, and a future.
I am NiNA.